For everybody who has ever been hurt in any way

This Feeling, when you want to be together with someone, but you simply can not because it's not possible. No matter what the reasons are. That feeling is like everything around you is trying to rip your heart out of your body. You are trying to cling it with your last strength, because the memories which still exist are only left in your heart.
This Feeling is hurting my so bad, like a sword what is going through my body and nobody pulls it out. Everybody who has ever been in love, has been hurt for some reason knows that, right?
Why do we get so hurt in life? Why is that happening over and over again? Why do we just have to feel that pain every day when all our memories come up.

I don't wanna be hurt anymore. Do you want to? All the pressure on my heart is terrifying me. We should stop all the soreness but how? How do we find a way out of the distress after we are already so involved?

There is only one thing we can do: Get the sting out of our body. It hurts for a moment, but then your heart can finally heal again and you can be happy again.

♥♥♥

The Comparison of Painting and Love

Love is like Painting.
I found that out when I was talking with my sister today.

Why is Love like Painting? Or better why is Painting like Love?
 Let's look how you start to paint a picture. First of all, it's always empty. Empty and white. Hopefully white. Then you start to draw or paint something on it. You better start really slow and soft. You maybe don't know yet how the whole picture will be, but you should have a plan, how you want to have it at the end. You wanna know what your result will be.
But aways when you start to paint, you know, you will maybe do some mistakes and sometimes you will get color blobs somewhere on your clothes. But you know that before you start the painting, and it would be naive if you would think you don't get any on yourself when you are painting.
But you know when you start painting, that, if you work really hard, in the end something wonderful turns out of it.
But sometimes, when we miss up with the picture and it is not pretty anymore, we have only two choices. Either we throw our work away because the work to fix it isn't worth it or we work hard on it, fix it and it will turn out to something beautiful.

We don't know, if we don't try. Sometimes we have to give up, but sometimes it is worth it, and then we have to try so hard for it, that it will be amazing!

Love is like Painting, because when we exert our selves Love evolves some marvelous and delightful.

♥♥♥

Sorry

"I'm sorry. Sorry, for behaving like a bitch. I have been so selfish. I only think about myself. Only care about me. I feel guilty. Guilty, for not being there for others. Not caring about their problems. Not listening. I'm so sorry."

It has been a while... Life is busy. But being busy, what does that mean? I didn't even have time, to write down some Secrets or Quotes for a long time? Well, that's not what we call busy today.
The funny thing about the word busy is, that we actually use it for everything today, except being busy. We think it's an easy excuse for not answering on messages, not helping others and not listening.

Maybe at some point we should stop saying we are busy and care more about others than about our selves.

♥♥♥

If you want to be happy...

Nobody knows me really

Nobody knows about my feelings. Even if I tell you, would you understand me? Would you really know what I mean? Can you look into my heart?

Nobody knows what I want, so why can anybody give me advice? Nobody can, because I have to feel what my heart says on my own. I have to find out what I want first, before other people start to tell me what is good for me.
But sometimes, I do stupid things. Things that I regret. Things I wished somebody would have told me to not do it. I don't want to do regrettable things. I don't want to embarrass myself. I don't want that things happen which i didn't want to happen, only because nobody warned me.

So what should I do? How do I know if I do the right thing? How do I know if my Friends give me the right suggestion? How do I know?
Right. I don't know. I never know, what will happen. I can't evaluate what will happen next. Because like everybody else, I can't see the future and I can't look in anybody's heart. I don't know what they do next.

But that is life. Isn't that the thing what is so exciting about life? Isn't that the point what makes every decision important? And isn't that also the reason why we always try hard because life gives us only one chance?

So I'm still without decision. Because nobody knows what is the best for me. And me neither. So how am I gonna decide. I will just do what I feel like after I thought about it really long.

And that's what we should do. Use our head and listen to our heart.

I guess I love you. ♥♥♥

The End

It's over. We are done.
Whose fault is it? His or mine?
I guess both. Well, It's actually more his fault, because if he wouldn't behave like that, I would not have ended it.

Now since it is over, he maybe realized what he did. He ignored me when we were together. It was like he wasn't even there when we were sitting next to each other.
Now he is starring at me the whole time and tries to make me jealous.
Everyday I have to see how he talks to every Girl and pretends to has really much fun. He looks then to me and laughs really much.
What do I think about it?
Well, I do not care. I don't care if he has fun. I don't care if he hugs other girls. I have a better life without him. I have something new. I found a good way out of it.

This is what I wrote to my friend about the End.
"Wir wollen alle eine Liebesgeschichte wie Blair&Chuck haben. Ich habe meinen CHUCK gefunden. Doch ich musste leider feststellen, dass ich nicht BLAIR bin... und auch nicht sein will."
"We all want to have a Love story like Blair&Cuck. I found my CHUCK. But unfortunately I had to realize that I'm not BLAIR... and I also don't want to be her."

Bye, I love you. ♥♥♥

Happiness and Mistakes

I cried today. And I smiled. A lot of both.
I don't know if it is because I'm a teenager or I am really emotional, but my mood changes from hour to hour.
I was talking with my good friend today. She is really funny and I love jokes.
I cried because I was writing an emotional letter to my friend. I really like that friend. But I had to apologize and then I realized that he is such a special person.
I did something stupid to my friend. I know my behaving is not good many times. I feel bad. But she forgave me. So that is a mistake with following happiness. That just brought a smile on my face.

Well, something bad happened, something good followed. It is better this direction than the other way around, right?

The point of what I am covering today is, that even if something looks bad in the beginning, if we work on it, it might turn out to something good.

I am tired now, I have to sleep. But here is a little promise. I will blog more then next days.
Because I love you. ♥♥♥

Something from My HEART (Part 3)

This is already Part 3 from "My HEART", and I still feel like I didn't say anything about what's really going on. 

You probably already got that it's all about me and a guy. But why am I talking about him so much. Well, I don't know. I feel like I have to talk about it. I have to tell someone. Even if I don't get an answer from anybody. I just want that somebody knows.

Why do I like him? An interesting question what I asked myself so many times. I think I have an answer now.
He is exactly the kind of boy, I would be if I would be a boy. He does all this stuff how I would do it. It's not his character it's his behaving.

I have to change the topic. I don't mean the Main Topic, I mean the Subtopic. I switch from him to me.
If you want to understand this you should know something about me. I can't imagine anything on this world what I love more than Chips. Now I am only talking about food. People are not included. I'm not that heartless. Oh well, sometimes, but that is not the point right now. So, I love Chips so much, that I really hate to share them. I hate it, when I eat my Chips and then somebody comes and asks me: "Can I have one?" I always say no. But people hate to hear no, so I have to give them Chips and there is not much left for me. Because do you know what people mean when they ask for One. They always mean to take a whole hand full of Chips and they make it as full as possible. They rather let something fall on the floor then leaving really much in my bag of Chips. I wouldn't mind if it is only one person, but it is never only one. And that is pissing me off. Do you at least a little bit understand how important Chips for me are? I hope it. Well, but something changed. After I talked with him or he wrote something cute to me in the chat, I have at least 24 hours of mercy. And in these 24 hours you could even ask me for Chips and I would give you the whole bag.
I just wanted to say, that: Maybe he is not the best guy, but he makes me a better Girl.

He just makes me happy. I realized that.
Don't forget: I also love you. ♥♥♥

Something from My HEART (Part 2)

I have to write about him. 

Once again.

Because I finally realized it. I realized why I like him so much. Well, I better say, why I like to be with him so much. 

First of all. It is not about his look, money or popularity. There is something else what has a strong attraction to me. It’s the fact, that it will never get boring with him.

I never know, if he is telling me the truth or not and that makes it so exciting. One second he loves me and the next second he doesn't care anymore. That’s driving me crazy on one side and fascinating on the other side.

It is like he tells me to come to him and I come. He pulls me firmly towards him. Then he leaves. He leaves me alone. I want to follow him, but I know he doesn't want me with him. And suddenly he calls me and asks me why I am not with him. I’m mad, because he didn't want me first. But he tells me, that he didn't mean it like that and that he wants to spend time with me now. 

I found something out about him. Something bad. I didn't know what to do. Should I listen to people who see it objective or should I listen to my heart?

This is what I have to how I feel about him:

"Always when you said “I love you” you were lying. I knew it, but I wanted to hear it.

I knew I was playing the game, but at some point I started to like you."

This is how I feel or how I think. There is more than that, but I will talk about it another time.

You know: I love you. ♥♥♥

Something from My HEART (Part 1)

"Did you ever have that feeling, when your heart really burns in your body? Do you know that when you think your heart got wings and flies through your whole body?
- Well, I had that feeling, before a sword tore my heart into pieces."

First of all. It wasn't actually a sword and my heart is not tore into pieces like in the movies. It more a symbol. I know, you are not stupid. You probably got that, but you never know who you are talking to if you just publish something in the internet and I don't want to get misunderstood. That would be terrible. Terrible like my feelings right now.

I'm actually not that kind of Drama queen. But since a time which I cannot really remember some things changed and now I am kind of a Drama queen, because I kind of over estimate some stuff. You probably don't want to hear something about that. More interesting is the fact, that there is something what really touched my heart and then destroyed it. And what else could it be, than a Boy?!

A boy, that you cannot imagine. I usually don't let a boy come so close to my heart. Why? Because he can break it. That's what the boys can do. They can break your heart without really realizing that they do it.
Since i know that, I told myself: "Never get heartbroken!" Easier to say than to do.
So I made up rules for myself. I wanted to follow these rules. It would help me. I wouldn't fall in love and I wouldn't get a broken heart.

1. Rule: Never, never, never, let the Guy get the feeling that he is better/ higher than you.
2. Rule: If there is a risk to fall in love with a boy or start to like him, Do never ever show your feelings.
3. Rule: If a boy who is nice starts to want you, ask your self why? Answer: He doesn't like you. He only wants to have s** with you.
4. Rule: Have many "boyfriends" that you don't get to concentrated on one boy
5. Rule: Reject them. Don't be easy. Be smart and at least always smarter than him.

All this rule can easily be combined in one rule: "If he wants to play with you, play with him and be better!" That's what I thought would help me. Well, I guess it would have followed the rules. But unfortunately, I didn't. 

I continue later. Here is something from my heart: I love you ♥♥♥

Dream

by Laura S.

Dreams. We can have them at night. There are wishes or fears. So how can we hope that all our dreams come true... if they are also fears. But our wishes they should come true. Sometimes we just have to do something special that they come true. We cannot expect that always everything works out well if we don't investigate some time or brave.
About our Daydreams. My Daydreams are always imaginations about situations how they will never come true. But i love my Dreams because they let me think that I can influence something and make my Dreamworld exactly like i want it.

I love you ♥♥♥

Friend - Talking and Silence

I have this one friend. I know her since one and a half year and the funny thing about our friendship is, that we don't have any other friends in common. 
I don't even know her family. 
But we are in contact. We are writing E-Mails to each other constantly. Today I received an E-Mail from her with this Quote.

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, nerver saying a word, and walk away feeling that was the best conversation you`ve ever had."

I don't need to talk with her about everything. I only need to sit next to her. 

I just realized. I is really nice to have a friend and talk to your friend and then you listen to your friend. But Isn't it awesome when somebody is listening when you don't talk?    When it is silence?    Do you know why I love it so much? Because it means that your friend is not staying with you, because of what you are saying. Your friend is staying with you because of you. (Wow, that's so nice) 

Listen, I'm not telling you. Don't talk with your friends. I'm telling you: Talk with your friends, but also Listen. And do not only listen when they are telling you something. Especially listen when they are not talking. Hopefully you can be there.

Friends? I love you. ♥♥♥

Action Movies

I love Action movies. But they are weird at some point. There is something in the movies what I am always wondering about. I mean: Why is it happening like this.

•  A jump from a bridge on a moving vehicle
• The moment when absolutely everybody is against the main character and the situation seems hopeless
• The fact that thousands of civilians die, that that one person survives.
• That suddenly everything is possible with a car without getting the car damaged or the passengers hurt
• While the hero is attacked by 20 enemies, it is only about individual battles, in which the hero beats all of them, while the others are watching
• Even if the Main Character has the weakest weapon at the beginning, it is always possible to win
• They always have fight in a crashing plan
• Everybody is shooting around, but nobody gets hurt

Can you think of something else? Write a comment!

And as always: I love you. ♥♥♥

Miss Someone

Quote - Unknown
Picture - August 2012 (out of the plane)

If you read the "About me" part on the side, you might know, that I'm in America, but I'm actually from Germany. Yes, and here... I miss my friends and family sometimes. The Quote reminds me always that we are still all under the same sky and when we watch clouds or stars or the sun, we all see the same.
When I will be back, I will miss all my friends so much. I will cry. And I will look in the Sky and think: "We are still under the same sky and what ever happens the Sky will be over us."

Remember: I love you. ♥♥♥

LOVE

“Love is a really big thing. Maybe the biggest. But it has to be true love for both.  And if it is true love, you should fight for it. “- The Quote was actually in German but I translated it (sorry for my English) the author is probably unknown

August 2012

We all dream about the “Love of our Life”, don’t we? We want someone who is there for us. Someone, who cares about us. Someone, who loves us. Everything seems to be about love. Every Song, Every Book, every Movie. And then, if you watch the Movie, it only shows you how people look at each other and fall in love in the next second. And we believe: That is LOVE.

But what means Love really? Well, I don’t know. How should I? Does anybody really know? What I know about Love is that it is more giving than taking. Love means to be there if the person you love needs you. It means that you do stuff what you don’t want to do, but you do it because you love the Person. It means Listening and Helping. It is much more. But you should find it out your own way.

I think that wasn’t enough about love, but I don’t know what to say anymore. My final sentence will be: “If you really LOVE someone. Tell it!” I mean Love. Not a crush.

And don’t forget: I love you. ♥♥♥

Don't judge people by their covers, most of their books are still being written.

Don't judge people by their covers, most of their books are still being written. - Author Unknown

Do you know what I hate? That people always judge each other. 

I mean, everybody judges you. 

If you eat - you are fat.

If you don't eat - you are bulimic

If you drink - you are an alcoholic

If you don't drink - you are a pussy

If you like to read - you are a freak

If you don't like to read - you are stupid

If you tell a secret - you are looking for attention

If you keep it - you suck

If you smoke - you think you are cool

If you don't smoke - you are a loser

If you have sex - you are a bitch

If you don't have sex - you are a prim

If you wear make-up - you are a barbie

If you don't wear it - you are ugly

They never accept you. No matter what you do. 

So just be yourself. Accept everyone like they are. 

But, do you know what is really hard. That even if you try to accept them all with their strengths and weaknesses their is no evidence that they do the same for you. 

I love you. ♥♥♥