Myself

Did you read the "About me" part? That are only a few sentences about myself, but the  Instruction said it cannot be so many words. Beside that, I didn't want to write so much about me about on the Main-Page. But I'm gonna do that here:

I LOVE TO WRITE. Seriously. I love to use words and put them together into sentences and put all my feelings into my writing. My Goal is: That people know how I feel after they read what I wrote.

Let's make a little test. Read the paragraph and guess my feeling:

"If I am still alive when you read this, I would be surprised  This day probably almost killed me. It could still do it. But, actually: Who cares? He doesn't. He would probably care more if something happens with that stupid girl who he is always with. But, it is not my problem. I mean, he will miss me when I will be in my Grave. I'm not joking. First of all, when I woke up in on this day my alarm was way to late. I couldn't even brush my teeth before I went to school with my ugly clothes. Yes, ugly clothes, because..."

- What is my feeling?   Despair and Jealousy would be the right answer.
If you got this: Either you are smart or I am a good writer. Probably the first one. Indeed I love to write, but I am not really good. But at least I'm trying.
My English probably also sucks. I know and I am sorry. But I'm from Germany and we have a different grammar. What makes it weird to translate between English and German. But guess what? My mind helps me. My thinking can change between English and German. I'm actually really thankful for that.

Do you know what I try to be since a while? Thankful. I want to be thankful for everything what i got. Because i got so much. You might not know, but my life is not always awesome. How about your life? Is it always awesome? I guess not. But why do we human continue complaining about all this stuff what is bad and why do we not just see all the positive things in the world? It actually makes happier to look on the positive things. What I tried, and oh well, it didn't really work (but I like the idea) is, that you think every evening when you already lie in your bed, what was something great today. There should be something everyday. You know... I tried that. But i kind of did it two days. Then I forgot to continue. But it is about the idea. The idea is to think about something good. Something nice. And you can do that whenever you think everything is going bad. You look around and maybe you see a nice picture or you realize that you don't freeze. And if it's winter and you are outside and you freeze, maybe you feel sick and you don't know when it is finally stopping to snow. Then be thankful you are not hungry.
If you are really hungry in that moment, then this theory can't really help you anymore, because being hungry, sick and in the snow... that seems actually really bad. But at least you are not lost, right? I hope not. If so, you might have to ask someone higher to help you.

Yeah, my self... Sometimes I think I'm so funny, because I say something and everybody around me starts to laugh. I don't even joke and they just starting laughing hysterically. Well you and me both know it's actually not because I'm funny. It's because they make fun of me. But you know what? I don't care that much, because at least they are laughing then and it makes me happy too. So everybody is happy and that's what I want.

Maybe there is one simple question still not answered. Deep in your mind it wants to ask the whole time: Why the heck did I create a Blog?
Haha... That's easy. Because I have so many thoughts. I think about Life the whole day. The part of the day, when I don't do something else. So and then in the thinking part, I want to remember my thoughts. So, what do I do to remember them? I open a Book, Word or a Notebook and I just write them down. Sometimes I send them to my friends. Some of them laugh about it, others think. And then I write also about my feelings. So, I decided to publish my thoughts about all that. I hope it can help you with your situation right now and you see that your not the only one who thinks in some ways.

♥♥♥